Accepting Reality

Kyle Tucker of the Williamsburg Christadelphian Foundation writes a weekly column avaible by email and accessible via the web link to your right. It is called Thought For The Week.

I offer his TFTW below. Thank you bro Kyle for your service!

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Did you ever wish you were never born? Job did.

After finding out that he had lost all of his children, most of his wealth and was plagued with painful boils, Job wished he had never been born. With this huge amount of suffering that was inflicted on this righteous man, Job says “Let the day perish wherein I was born.” (3:3)

We can surely appreciate someone in Job’s circumstances wanting never to have been born. It is quite natural. Perhaps when we examine our own lives, we see moments when we have sunk into such a pit of despair with substantially less cause than Job had.

There is one considerable problem with Job’s thoughts at this time – it was not based in reality. Job was born. There was no amount of wishing that was going to change that unalterable fact. No matter how much Job hated the day of his birth or the trials that had just befallen him, nothing was going to change the facts that these things had happened.

This is in no way a criticism of the man of whom Scriptures testifies “that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.” (1:1) However, it is instructive for us to view Job’s reaction. Job’s reaction in these circumstances was not helpful to him because it was not realistic. We might wish for a lot of things, but that doesn’t change reality. Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, said “If you want something to be different than it is, you might as well teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, ‘Meow.’ Wanting something to be different than it is is hopeless.”

We do the same thing when we say things like:

• My husband (wife, kids, parents, friends, etc.) should love me more.
• People should be kinder.
• I shouldn’t have gotten sick.
• I shouldn’t have been fired.
• Brethren should be more loving (better Bible students, more active, etc.)
• I should be taller (shorter, thinner, younger, smarter, etc.).

None of these statements are grounded in reality. They are wishing for things to be the ways different than reality (or our perception of reality). They are wishing for a change in the past. Isn’t it more productive to accept things are the way that they are now (that is to accept reality) and work to change things today than to wish things were different in the past or the future? We don’t condone that fact that people aren’t kind, but the fact is that some people are not kind. Wishing that it was not true doesn’t make it so. It only causes us pain to wish that people are not the way that they are.

One day I hope to meet Job face to face and thank him for his valuable insights through the outworking of God in his life. Until then, I will try to content myself with today and the reality it brings with it.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Mt 6:34 NIV)

Have a great week,

Kyle Tucker
Many of the ideas behind this TFTW were taken from Loving What Is by Byron Katie. If you want more information, please visit www.thework.com.
email: tftw@wcfoundation.org
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TFTW online: http://www.wcfoundation.org/tftw